13 Autumns & A Widow

Monday, July 31, 2006

I have become JIWANG. Pardon me. I cannot stop thinking of Muhammad Ramdan, just as Rok Herdy cannot forget Suzanna. I pity ourselves.

UG14 - Bunga Larangan

Sekuntum bunga larangan tidak tercapai tangan,
Haruman cinta semalam terlerai sudah,
Inginku memilikimu duri yang bisa menghalanginya,
Inginku menyayangimu sayangku insan tak punya apa

Aku musafir hina,
kini terluka ditaman cinta,
Engkau yang aku sayang bunga larangan,
sudah suratan takdir tuhan,
mekarmu sayang dijambangan orang

Terpaksa kau ku tinggalkan
dalam sejarah cinta
Tinggallah bungaku sayang
dalam kenangan,

Engkaulah bunga larangan.

Laksamana - Gugurnya Bunga Cinta
(I dedicate this to Muhd Ramdan bin Muhd Marsan)

Izinkan aku sayang
Menyentuh perasaanmu
Biar gelora cinta semalam
Izinkan aku sayang
Merinduimu selalu
Biar bergetar nalurimu

Walau berkali kau membenci
Cintaku takkan hilang
Himpunkan semua kemaafan
Dengarkan oh! rintihan

Andainya kau pergi
Gugurlah bunga cinta
Terpadam mentari
Yang menyinar oh

Pulanglah oh! sayang
Kau ku nanti penuh pasti
Rintihan kecundang
Untukmu oh! sayang...

Fotograf - Di Alam Fana Cinta

Bila terpejam lena
Jasadku tidak berdaya
Mencari engkau di mana
Hanya dalam mimpi indah

Bila aku terjaga
Jasadku terus berdiri
Mencarimu tiada lagi
Berkubur di alam mimpi

Apakah aku yang terlupa
Antara lena dan terjaga

Di waktu malam pemisah
Yang nyata menjadi mimpi
Di sini engkau menanti
Bersama harum kasturi
Bagai mekarnya bunga cinta
Di alam nyata penuh rahsia

Pabila titisan embun pagi
Mimpi indah
Entah ke mana menghilang
Entah kenyataan
Engkau biarkan aku terbuang
Di alam fana cinta
Kau pula berdusta

Ku terpenjara aku terpenjara
Di dalam lena di dalam jaga

Mega - Takdir dan Waktu

Tidak kutahu mengapakah
Sepinya melanda hatiku
Dan bukannya kemahuanku
Datangnya sendiri

Tidak kutahu mengapakah
Pilunya dipinggir hatiku
Dan kucuba untuk mengusir
Tapi tak berdaya

Lalu terbuka gerbang hatiku
Menyambut rindu datang bertemu
Aku gelisah

Kini rinduku menjemput cinta
Yang ditakdirkan denganmu sayang
Bukan pintaku atau mahumu
Semuanya suratanNya

Tapi mengapakah kau sekadar waktu
Cinta yang datang cepat berlalu
Pergimu sayang bersama cinta
Tercalar pedih di dalam dada
Aku tersiksa

Aku terdiam kaku menahan
Bisanya menikam kalbuku
Separuh nyawa ku pandang wajah
Di depan kaca
Tutup kembali gerbang hatiku

Tidak bermaya langkah kakiku
Di saat ini

Tidak kusangka jadi begini
Terpisah jua kita akhirnya
Aku sendiri tidak mengerti
Sungguh pilu di hatiku
Untuk melepaskanmu demi kerana
Ku masih sayang, sayang padamu
Terbangkit resah di dalam kalbu
Terhimpun rindu (sayang)
(Luka cintaku)

Thursday, May 25, 2006

ELIZABETH BATHORY of CARPATHIA
http://www.geocities.com/wanwarlock/bathory.html
http://www.abacom.com/~jkrause/bathory.html

man.. this is interesting... in fact, highly interesting....
She was the first of the vampires, and she was EVIL.

"You, Elizabeth, are like a wild animal. You are in the last months of your life. You do not deserve to breathe the air on earth, nor to see the light of the Lord. You shall disappear from this world and shall never reappear in it again. The shadows will envelop you and you will find time to repent your bestial life. I condemn you, Lady of Cachtice, to lifelong imprisonment in your own castle."
Count Thurzo on sentencing Erszebet Bathori

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Cradle Of Filth - Funeral In Carpathia Lyrics
Download MP3's Now!

Candelabra snuffed prey - silhouette wedded
Nightfall take my hand
Seduce me with silky timbred limbs
Grant me thy dark command
Over the peaks framing tapestries
Of thick forest, dusk has filled

With Lucifugous kisses enwreathed in mist
Creeping like violations from the shadows
to kill

Lucretiais my love in vein
When thy tears bleed sweeter
Thank the midsummer rain?
Bewinged, infested belfries
Toll o'er the sobbing throng
A writhe of lethargic, terrored nudes
Whipped and welted neath the barbed windsong....
(in saddean paradiseAncestral legacies linger on....)

I am He
The crowned and conquering darkness
Satan robed in ecumenical filth
Livid Bacchus sustained by bridal echelons of sylph
This wintry eve when the snow glistens deep
And sharpened turrets wed the jewelless skies
I shrug off the shroud of preternatural sleep
Embroided by these words Malaresia scribed....
"Beauty slept and angels wept
For Her immortal soul
In this response, all evil chose
To claim her for their very own"
Carpathia
The pleasured dead speak of her
In necromantic tongue
When ambered daylights are done
Masturbating in their graves
On her zenith to come....
This catafalque night when awed stars report
Their absence from the heavenly brow
Crippled seraph shalt cower in illustrious courts
Whilsts the cloaked maelstrom resounds throughout
"How the storm it fulfills
My heart though unhealed
Celestial knifes ebonied
And wild woods thrill
Yet far fiercer still
Her lustre eviscerates me"
Carpathia
Priapic lovers twist in concert with Her
Covenants are struck, jagged lightning fellates
The path towards the castle weary innocence takes
I rule as Master here
Where feral hordes impart my temper
Love sank wounded when I, betrayedsaw death etch cruelly, upon my lineage
"Usher the spite seething Draconist
And commit this world to thy ancient sovereignty"
Erunescent veil descendPsalmed sunset thus portends
And laid to rest, I now am blessed
With this darkness.... Forever more
Supreme Vampiric Evil

Thirteen Autumns And A Widow - Cradle Of Filth

Spawned wanton like blight on an auspicious night
Her eyes betrayed spells of the moon's eerie light
A disquieting gaze forever ghosting far seas
Bled white and dead,
Her true mother was fed
To the ravenous wolves that the elements led
From crag-jagged mountains that seemingly grew in unease
Through the maw of the woods, a black carriage was drawn
Flanked by barbed lightning that hissed of the storm
(Gilded in crests of Carpathian breed)
Bringing slaves to the sodomite for the new-born
On that eve when the Countess' own came deformed

A tragedy crept to the name Bathory
Elizabeth christened, no paler a rose
Grew so dark as this sylph
None more cold in repose
Yet Her beauty spun webs
Round hearts a glance would betroth
She feared the light

So when She fell like a sinner to vice
Under austere, puritanical rule
She sacrificed...

Mandragora like virgins to rats in the wall
But after whipangels licked prisoners, thralled
Never were Her dreams so maniacally cruel
(And possessed of such delights)
For ravens winged Her nightly flights
Of erotica
Half spurned from the pulpit
Torments to occur
Half learnt from the cabal of demons
In Her
Her walk went to voodoo
To see Her own shadow adored
At mass without flaw
Though inwards She abhored
Not Her coven of suitors
But the stare of their Lord
"I must avert mine eyes to hymns
For His gaze brings dogmas to my skin
He knows that I dreamt of carnal rites
With Him undead for three long nights"
Elizabeth listened
No sermons intoned
Dragged such guilt to Her door
Tombed Her soul with such stone
For She swore the Priest sighed
When She knelt down to atone...
She feared the light

So when She fell
Like a sinner to vice
Under austere, puritanical rule
She sacrificed

Her decorum as chaste
To this wolf of the cloth
Pouncing to haunt
Her confessional box
Forgiveness would come
When Her sins were washed off
By rebaptism in white....
The looking glass cast Belladonna wreaths
'Pon the grave of Her innocence
Her hidden face spat murder
From a whisper to a scream
All sleep seemed cursed
In Faustian verse
But there in orgiastic Hell
No horrors were worse
Than the mirrored revelation
The She kissed the Devil's phallus
By Her own decree...
So with windows flung wide to the menstrual sky
Solstice Eve She fled the castle in secret
A daughter of the storm, astride Her favourite nightmare
On winds without prayer
Stigmata still wept between Her legs
A cold bloodedness which impressed new hatreds
She sought the Sorceress
Through the snow and dank woods to the sodomite's lair
Nine twisted fates threw hewn bone die
For the throat of Elizabeth
Damnation won and urged the moon
In soliloquy to gleam
Twixt the trees in shafts
To ghost a path
Past the howl of buggered nymphs
In the sodomite's grasp
To the forest's vulva
Where the witch scholared Her
In even darker themes
"Amongst philtres and melissas
Midst the grease of strangled men
And eldritch truths, elder ill-omen
Elizabeth came to life again"
And under lacerations of dawn She returned
Like a flame unto a deathshead
With a promise to burn
Secrets brooded as She rode
Through mist and marsh to where they showed
Her castle walls wherein the restless
Counted carrion crows
She awoke from a fable to mourning
Church bells wringing Her madly from sleep
Tolled by a priest, self castrated and hung
Like a crimson bat 'neath the belfry
The biblical prattled their mantras
Hexes six-tripled their fees
But Elizabeth laughed, thirteen Autumns had passed
And She was a widow from god and His wrath, finally...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Forgiven - Sylver

I still regret
I turned my back on you
No one makes me feel the way you do
Never meant to cause you trouble
Never meant to do you harm
I was weaking by temptation´s wing of charme

I want to be forgiven
I want to hold you in my arms again
To be forgiven
´cause I still need a friend(2x)

I want to be forgiven
All those trumbling in the sea I´ve seen
Can you ease the pain I feel within
Never meant to cause you trouble
Never meant to do you harm
I was weaking by temptation´s wing of charme

I want to be forgiven
I want to hold you in my arms again
To be forgiven´cause I still need a friend

I want to be forgiven.

She Shines - Grey Daze
She shines like a flower
In my head
Everybody,
Wants to pick her dead

(Chorus)She said she loved me
And lied to me
She was by the river
And lied to me

She shines like a flower
In my head
Everybody,
Wants her in their bed

(Chorus)
She said she loved you
And lied to you
She was by the river
And lied to you
So eager
(Chorus)
So eager
(Chorus)
So eager

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

To Ayim:

"You were my friend
Look at us now
Our paths reached a dead end
Sensei, I wont bow
You were there when I needed a hand
I moved as freely as you allow
But now I'm counting to ten
I will leave, no matter how

Thanks for your love and patience
Now thanks for your hate and vengeance
I take it from all dimensions
I've learnt it from your lessons
About the world and its relations

The spotlight was always on you
About being right and so true
Now you wont give in without a fight
And what am I supposed to do
You thought I've humiliated you
Tell me, who's embarrassed who
This world is full of sham and taboo
You motherfucker armed with tattoo

Love it cant be forced
I never wanted a divorce
You're a breaker of laws
An underworld god of Norse
What's his name? It was Loki
Now dont confuse it with Lutfi
You think you had won the trophy
By going steady with me

Now you call me your foe
Your fiend, you enemy-- I know
Speak for yourself and go with the flow
Live your life, I'm out of the show

I plead you to stop calling me on my phone
I'm scarred all the way to the bone
I just want you and your clone
To fucking LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

~An-Shannah Shanirah

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Ayim confessed that he likes me. But he is aware of my whatever-ship with Lutfi.
I dont know what to think.

Ayim is nice. But I cant love him.

Lutfi is great. Incredibly sweet. But I, um... I dont know. I like him too. A lot a lot. I am falling for him. It's just that I HATE to admit it when I miss him.

I dont wish to hurt anyone. SOmebody help me. Ya Allah, help me!!

Lutfi doesnt want competition. Does it mean he's letting me go? Sadded.... And Ayim said he wished the best for me and Fi... But I know what he's like. He was practically telling me that all guys are a bunch of fuckers who want to betray me. He was telling me that Wak Din is an ass and everything else...

I dont know what to do or say. I am thankful that I am liked, and at least I know I am not entirely hated.

Lutfi, I think I'm in love with you.
Ayim, you'll always be my best friend no matter what.
Uddin, please dont leave CSC.
Afai, you will be missed greatly.
Wak Din and Fazli, thanks for your PK videos. And I AM NOT WAK DIN'S GIRLFRIEND. But still... thanks for sending me home sometimes.
And...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

MONOCHROMATIC STAINS-Dark Tranquillity

There is this face in the still water
I can't remember ever wearing
Like fingerprints on your heart
Reading out the last lines of code
To the untrained eye a secret
I bled away the last of you
Sought trust in shapes of combined results
that trickles from a less than solid case
Fought off attacks of resurfaced lust
Burn the gracing grounds

What will give in first
the body or the lash
Monochromatic stains
Who will cave in first
the leader or the fake
Monochromatic stains

This pile of ashes of a soul
informant pokes abound
These sickly little fingers
Get away from me

Tread not the path of least restraint
each piece of evidence a lie, a lie
The body, the face all items in place
I don't remember a thing

A sacrifice made to the loss of mind
Folly a man's demise
Track now the stains that allow my fall
sickening, the sight of it all
Never shall I claim my innocence
I just was not there